[cool]

Originally Posted by katzluva

Cool, surely not all guys are sex-o-maniacs right?

First, after after understanding men's 'needs', you will come to see that 'sex maniac' or 'sexual predator', or 'sex addict' or any of those so called derogatory terms used on 'some' men, actually applies to 'most men', and since men are men and nature dictates them to be who they are, they are really not 'sex maniac', but 'sex normal'.

What I mean is this. We judge people instantly when they watch porn, or when they have multiple sex partners, etc, but at the end of the day, almost every guy does it. If you watch the news and a guy gets arrested for watching porn (in my country they sometimes do), then suddenly everyone says 'he's a sex maniac' when they themselves watches porn.

Second: Are there guys who wants to maintain their virginity or are not very active in sex? Yes, to both. There are some men who's testosterone levels are 'abnormally' low, genetically. This is actually a small percentage. They behave more like women when it comes to sex. There is a whole range of men, their sexual level of needs, and even their sexual preferences... BUt when i say 'men' or 'women' I mean 'in general, or mostly'.

Also, there are indeed some very religious guys who really work to keep their virginity. Growing up, I have many muslim friends for instance who are like that. But they still watches porn or masterbate. Most of these friends once they got married, also cheat on their wives. So, in the end, it's 'religion vs nature, and nature always win'.

I do agree though how the majority of men sees it, and biologically, it makes sense. Girls have to worry about their choice in mate cause we can GET PREGNANT! We wouldnt wanna have men that arent gonna be there if it happens, so we look for love and commitment before we make that final decision.

Yes, katz, this is exactly right. The reason women are the way they are and men are the way they are is because of evolution. Millions of years ago, men who go about 'donating' his sperm to as many women as he can, generally gets more chances of passing his genes thru. So, the ones that does not have as much sex had fewer children, and over millions of years and thousands of generations, the dominant number of men are descended from those 'cavemen' who has lots of testosterone and lots of sex.

Women those days on the other hand had to be clever enough to pick the right 'cave man' so to speak if she wants a good chance for someone to be able to provide for the children. At the time, nature is unforgiving. Most children probably never make it to adulthood. Perhaps only a few percentages does. So, women who have sex loosely with random guys may end up pregnant and no 'guy' around to help raise the kids or provide for the kids and they end up all dying, thus, not passing thru their genes.

But that does not mean women do not cheat on their 'so called picked men'. They do. In fact a research indicates that as high as 30% of children born are not related to the 'husband'. But the 'husbands' do not know it. Women after having sex with their 'chosen guy, cave men', may still secretly have sex with other cave-men. The more spern she can get inside her, the better because then the strongest sperms will fight to get to her womb thus providing the best offspring. There's an article in Scientific American called 'The sperm wars' which shows how sperms war among other sperms from other guys. There are actually all kinds of sperms. We have sperms that specialize in defence such as they block sperms from the opponent from entering the 'cave'. And there are attack sperms with actual war heads that explodes on contact with the other sperms. That's a whole other story there and there's not enough space here to elaborate... look this up...

Just curious - Do you think it's more appropriate to have a polygymous society, Cool?

Haha.. you know, me and my men friends have always discussed this ONE issue and have discussed it to death. Especially with my best friend (american btw). After all those discussion, I have, at least come to the conclusion that, for me personally, ONE is enough. One woman nagging you all day long is all a guy can take. Hahahhaha...

Anyways, just to be scientific, I think one on one is still better because otherwise there may be other problems such as men who have no women left to marry?? I can see how during the middle ages and the prophet muhammad said that men who can afford it can marry up to 4 wifes. During those times, there are far fewer men than men cause they all go to wars and get killed. So, many women have no one to look after them and to survive you really need a 'man' to look after you, provide you with a 'tent' and 'food', and 'standing' in society.

But, like I said, men differenciate 'love' with 'sex'. So, although men have an over-powering need for sex and perhaps sex with multiple partners, in our modern society today, with the condoms and all, when a guy have sex it does not mean he'll have children. So, men generally 'cheat' on their wives outside the home and then go home and still loves the wive just as much. No need to complicate things and bring home another woman.

I have first hand experience on this because my own father brough home a mistress who lived with us and bore him a son. It caused him and my mom to not speak to each other for as long as i can remember before his death (when I was 9 years old). The amout of misery and suffering that brought to my mom tells me that bringing home another woman is just not right. (Unless you live in a society that culturally accepts it as norm, then women actually may find it better to have 'sister wives' all working to raise one big family). But in general in our current 'culture' of the world today, women do not want to share their men. And men in generally don't earn enough to raise 2 families.

Chinese believe that it's better to go outside the home, have your sexual affairs, and then don't bring home the 'dirt'. Just leave it outside the home. And most chinese wives may know this, but they keep an eye shut. For example, my own mom advices her own daughter, ie, my sisters to not look too 'closely' in their husbands 'outside adventures'. That may be the wisest cause of action. You can't change nature, and if you fight it, the alternative is probably intolerant.

For example, let's take a case example. A woman married with 3 kids. Then finds out her husbands are cheating on her. What does she do?

1. Confront the husband? Now, if that happens then what are the options left? You either end up divorced or that you forever live with each other having lost trust in each other and there will never be the same again.

2. Understand that the husband is just doing what nature dictates and he still loves you just as much? This option may be wiser.

Remember, when men cheat on their wives sexually, it's like playing ping pong with another person. You can play ping pong with lots of people.

But when a woman cheats or have an affair with another guy, then the husband better be wary. Why? Because when women have an affair, it generally means that she may be emotionally attached to the new guy and will likely leave the husbands. Men 'never' leave their wives when they have affairs. They may 'lie' to the woman they are having an affair with to 'get sex', but they never will leave their wives... (of course again, I am speaking in general katz)

I know what I am saying will come as a 'great shock' to many of you girls here on this forum simply because you're all so young and so naive and so idealistic and all of us grow up with movies portraying 'true love' and all that and associate 'sex with love'.