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Originally Posted by katzluva

Hey I was just wondering, what if the guy DOES get all the sex he wants from the his wife/girlfriend? Like, say, she will cater to his needs almost all the time...will he still cheat? Or is it for "variety" purposes?

Well, I think it's the 'variety'... but whatever it is, it's in the genes. Like I said, we are all descended from the choices our ancestors made millions of years ago. Remember, our ancestors who are having sex with multiple partners are the most successful in passing on their genes. The ones that does not, may have passed on only a small percentage of themselves down the line, thus, you hear stories of some men who are truly monogamous, wherease the rest are either 'pretending to be', 'do not have the means to', or, 'find it not worth their while'.

So, I guess reading into the thin line of your question, women are basically stuck in a hard situation. Even Halle Berry's husband cheats on her and she's phenomenally beautiful. You would think that a guy married to her would be 'happy' and 'contended'. It's the gene thing again.

Like I said earlier, knowing how things are, can we adjust? Women do all the time. That's why you see people stayed in their marriage. If every time a guy cheats on his wife, and the wife divorced him, there'll be like 90% divorce rate. In western countries where women are less tolerant to a cheating husband, you see a higher divorce rate, and in others, women makes the decision to stay. In my country, like i said, many women are taught by their parents that men cheat, like the tide comes and goes, and you either accept it or not.

I understand that from a woman's perspective where a woman feel that sex is love and vice versa (equating the both in a complex entanglement), and when a woman have sex, she feels extremely in love, or extremely emotional, and therein lies the real problem. Because we can only judge others based on how we ourselves feels. We see thru our own prism or colored glass. So, when a woman finds her husband/boyfriend having sex with another girl, she automatically thinks he does not love her anymore, and that is what hurts most. But in actuality, the reverse is true. The guy still loves his wife as much, he is just having 'sex'. Sex, and sex alone. NOthing more. And from a men's perspective, he doesn't understand why the woman makes so much hell out of such a simple thing.

Men get extremely jealous when their women cheat as well but for a whole different reason. They are logical beings and they know that women generally only have sex with a guy when she's in love and when his wife sleeps with another man, then he thinks that she's in love with that other guy, and in truth, that's probably true as well. Usually a woman cheats when she's not getting the emotional support she needs at home. So in fact, when a woman cheats, she truly cheat wholely. But when a man cheat, it's only a physical thing. Nothing more.

Now, I also truly believe that if a man and woman have a connection beyond the physical, ie, maybe similar interests, and mental connection, and if the woman is still actively having good sex in a marriage with the husband, maintaining a physical attraction, then the guy would be far less likely to cheat because he knows he's got too much to lose and when you take into consideration age (guys' testosterone level drops with age on a continual basis). Remember also, when a guy's 'physical needs, sex' is satiated, he feels nothing about it anymore.. at least for another day..

Again, not trying to justify anything so please dont' shoot the messenger.

Originally Posted by laura-aap

yet.. we can not forget that 13 year olds are starting to look more and more like girls of 16/17. that's also a reason why they are getting younger when itcomes to having sex and loosing their virginity.

Actually, girls and boys are in general having sex at an older and older age compare to the past. It's because we are brought up in today's society where when we see a few 13 year old having sex, we generalize things and say that ppl are getting younger and younger.

If you just go back 100 years (or go to many 3rd world countries today), ppl have sex and become moms at 13 or less... it's the norm then...

ol: [/b] yeah, boys do want more and faster sex than girls. but today I saw a show called virgin diaries... and there was this one girl.. who just wanted to have sex.. no mather what. so girls can be like that too!
but it's true that guys easily can have sex without feeling much for a girl.. yet a girl wants to feel more than just being a quick.... ehhm... sexthing.
( I wanted to say something else.. but don't think thats nice.. yet it does belong in this topic XD LOL)

No doubt. I have already said i generalize for the majority. You'll always find the exceptions. Both men/women and their genders span a whole range from what we perceive as normal to the absolute abnormal. We have gays, bisexuals, men who can't think of anything but sex, and men who don't like sex, and transgender, to anything you can think of.

just thinking about something.. if guys are always wanna have sex.. how would they be if they were sex addicts??? O___O

You are missing my point. There are no such things as 'sex addicts'. It's like there's no such things as perverts when we refer to gay for instance. We are who we are, and in today's society, we paint all men as 'sex addicts, perverts, idiots who thinks only with their prick, pedophile, etc, etc'. The drug companies were successful in painting all hyper active kids as a decease and that they need to be tranquilized.. so, American moms are drugging their 'normally active kids',... over active kids means they are more intelligent, their mind are brighter and they want to explore more.. we are retarding them today.

But I guess you can make an argument that some people are so engrossed with thoughts of sex so much that they preclude many other things in their life, that you can say they are addicted to sex like we are all probably addicted to sugar. But the 'label' of sex addict can really be used on most men and a handful of women.