dear ex-best friend,
it has come to my attention that you have no intention to stop dating my little brother. this is your first and last warning that you should cease this ridiculous relationship. not only has your lifestyle affected his in such a way that you are both overweight, but now he has medical problems. also, i'd really like if you could pay me your portion of the internet and cable bill. just because you don't use it doesn't mean you don't owe it. i realize that our friendship is officially over seeing as how you have removed me from your facebook page. that's cool, but i'd really like my money.
sincerely,
cailey
ps. if you ever cheat on my little brother again, i am destroying everything in your room. <3
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