Perfect age to lose your virginity...

[katzluva]

It's not shocking, not to me anyway. Then again, statistics are not always reliable cause it's suspectible to a number of spuriousness. The people who answer to "Do you cheat on your spouse" questionnares may only be attracting people that are already unhappy with their relationships, and they are the primary ones to respond to it, while all the others who are satisifed do not feel to let off some steam. Just note that correlation doesnt always mean causation. Maybe the number of cheating husbands arent as big as you think (and with a little bit of wishful thinking =p). Not to mention different cultures...I suspect the traditional chinese families do not cheat as often as, say, the white middle class man.

Ah, did you know that when men live around a woman/wife, his testosterone level drops a whopping 50%? And drops 75% when he's around his kids? A huge portion of that hormone fades away, and the nuturing oxytocin boosts up quite a bit for parenting. I dont think married men still have testosterone that is so overpowering that they'd would run amok with erections 22/7. Although too many of them still do

[cool]

Haha.. katz... it's not just the stats. And you're right, we can't take all those stats 100% seriously, but they do indicate the trends. And I think instead of being 'over', i think the stats are understating. If the stats says 70% cheats, then I would assume 90% does in actuality. People tend to lie about things that society deems inappropriate. If you're a guy, and a girl asks you if you 'cheat', you probably lie your ass off and say 'no', even if you do.

Anyways, apart from the stats, I can tell you from a guy's perspective and from all my guy friends who are married (ya, most of them are chinese), 95% or more cheats on their wifes. In fact, I left the 5% because really, i am pretty hard press to find one that does not.

And you're again, perfectly right about the 'parenting brain'.. THis gets activated in women and men when they have children. Women have a 'mummy' brain activated when she's pregnant and a father also has a 'father brain' activated.

But even when a guy's testosterone drops 75%, it's still several times higher than a women's. So, hardly a surprise that a man still finds sex everywhere. Of course, some women will have sex with their husbands and do not 'reject' them all the time, and still maintains their figure and looks. A woman who gets married, then thinks it's not important to maintain her figure and sex appeal and thinks that she can just reject the husband and if he's in love with her then he'll understand will sorely be mistaken. If a guy don't get the release he needs from home, he'll go elsewhere. Sex is like oxygen to a guy and if he can get it, he will. If a married woman is sexually active and having lots of sex with her husband, she has less worry about him finding it outside.

Oh, another point I forgot to make is that they found a link between ugly guys and their fidelity. The more handsome a guy is the more likely he's gonna cheat. So, girls, you can't have it both ways. Find the ugliest guy and you may find a man who's loyal. This is not just an abservation, it's a genetic kink and they found it.

[mallorymaloney]

For example, let's take a case example. A woman married with 3 kids. Then finds out her husbands are cheating on her. What does she do?

1. Confront the husband? Now, if that happens then what are the options left? You either end up divorced or that you forever live with each other having lost trust in each other and there will never be the same again.

2. Understand that the husband is just doing what nature dictates and he still loves you just as much? This option may be wiser.

Remember, when men cheat on their wives sexually, it's like playing ping pong with another person. You can play ping pong with lots of people.

Whoa! No offense, cool, but that's just messed up.

If a man's in a relationship with a woman, and he's married, and has kids, that's it. He has absolutely no right to go and cheat with another woman simply because his gender makes him think about sex 24/7. No effin' way. That's bullshit!

If I was in that situation; Married, with kids, and I found out my husband cheated on me? Like, 'Oh, honey, it's not you ... You're still hot ...! I just, you know, wanted to play around a little, if y'know what I mean. Hey, wanna have sex now? Maybe my girlfriend could, uh, join us or somethin' babe?'

Well.

Firstly, I'd punch him in the gut to make him bend over in shock, then I'd take my army boot clad foot and kick the idiot in the nuts, and knee him in the nose immediately after. Next, I'd push him onto the ground, scream for awhile about what a complete and utter low life he is, then I'd go to the phone book, look up a divorce agency, and me and the kids would be out of there within the hour.

I'd never cheat on a guy, and I'd expect the same from him. I don't care about his lame testosterone levels --- He can visit a porn site if he's so damn eager. I'll give him my credit card. o_O

But ... To the original topic ... I don't like this whole 'Oh, 'ya should have sex whenever you please! At any age! Ooh it surrrrrre feels good, don't denyyyy. Mmmm-mm!' philosophy. It's fcuked right up.

I see the results of this kind of thinking every day in my city ... Young girls pushing baby strollers around, living off of the government's cheques, sleeping with who knows how many guys, popping out babies right and left to fork in spending money ... Ugh. The kids usually have mental disabilities because the 'mothers and fathers' have no idea how to take care of the kid, or what not to smoke/drink whilst pregnant or conceiving, etcetera.

Ugh.

I don't what age sex should be 'allowed' ... But it should probably be like 19 or something? Maybe 18 at the lowest.

Here in Canada, kids are legally allowed to have sex at 14, I think it is --- Yet they can't get into an R rated movie until they're much older? WTF!

I'm not sure if I'll ever have sex --- I used to say 'I'll have sex when I get married,' but I'm not sure I want to marry! I've had only a couple of boyfriends, but their attitudes over things like sex just ... Disgusts me.

For example. My latest ex's response to my personal 'I want to wait until I marry to have sex' philosophy.

'Oh, that's cool, I can respect that ... But you know, that's not how it works, nine times out of ten.'

Um ... Right. Right ...

WHAT THE F*CK?!

Sorry, assh*le, maybe that's how it goes with other chicks, but not with me, I thought.

May I add we had only been dating a few days.


Onto another incident.


We were right in the middle of a serious make out session, when he suddenly whispered to me. 'This makes me wanna do it so bad ...' He said.

I giggled, thinking he was joking, and we continued to make out.

Approximately thirty five seconds later, he asks me something. 'Do you want to ...?' He says, looking to me.

I paused a bit, not sure what he meant. Did I want to ... Oh! That.

'Um. No.' I say, shocked he'd even ask.

'You sure you don't want to ...?' He asked me yet again. Did I really have to answer? I mean, hello ... He wanted to have sex right then.

Right then.

On my family's couch.

With my little brother in the next room.

And my father in the basement.

...

Obviously, I replied no every time. Of course, a few times it took me a little longer than usual to respond, as his mouth was glued to mine. He took these as considerations, I guess, and the next second, he's got his todger out and halfway between my legs.

May I add we were both fully clothed. ((Idiot.))

'Um. Um, I said no ...' I said into his ear quietly.

'Oh ... Um. I know. I was just. I was just. Resting ... It ... comfortably.' He said, backpedaling.

Right, right. Resting your Who's Your Father right between my legs. That sounds like a comfy spot, I'd wager. I thought.

I jumped away from him and off the couch, and that was the end of those shenanigans. I broke up with the tosser the next day.


So obviously, after experiences like these, I don't see sex as such a great thing ... Again, I'm not sure if I'll ever bother, since I don't even want to get married any more, because guys are too worried about their pants, and not worried enough about other aspects of a relationship.

Guys are freakin' hot, that's for sure, but ... They're ... Complete jerks, and not the best things to be in a reationship with. o_O; ((Disclaimer: In my personal experiences and personal opinions!))

Plus --- Who needs a guy for sex! Us women have lots of other options! As in options you can buy at adult stores for reasonable prices.

XD; Hahaha, sorry, sorry.

And no, cool, I'm not gonna try dating a woman. 'Cause I know you're gonna suggest that!

I mean, seriously? Women are too bitchy, anyways. I'd never be able to stand being in a relationship with one --- I can hardly stand living with my own bitchiness some days. XD Hahahaha.


So yeah, that's my post and opinions and everything. XD; I stand by them --- Sex is overrated, men need to start thinking with their brain instead of their pants, and kids who have sex at a young age are foolish.

[cool]

Woh! Hahahaha... Mallory, you crack me up with your stories!

You just proved my entire point. Women thinks all guys are 'idiots with a prick', and men just wanna do it! Period!

That's the entire story of 'humankind'.

I bet that one day, your shining knight in armor is gonna turn up, say the right things, act the right way, sweep you right off your feet, and once you're in love (your sexual desires will suddenly light up), and you'll pounce on him!

Anyways, Mallory, I hope you realize that I am probably the most honest man around saying what's not politically correct but for some reason, I am totally addicted to 'facts' and 'truths' even when they tend to get me into trouble. I am not justifying anything that men or women do, just pointing out what and why they do it... You can add the 'moral sugar' to the whole thing.

In today's state of the world and political situation, nobody can afford to be honest about almost anything anymore or face persecution.

[Heartburnz]

mallory you are soooo righttt!!
But i do think ur really strong, even if these boys keep pushing you..
I respect that. Its YOUR body!!!

Nowadays being a woman and being strong = sexy = (bare) naked.
I just think its an excuse to look "slutty". Just turn ur tv on and you know what i mean.. i dont know whats wrong with society.. i see young girls (kids) looking like hoes... acting like hoes.. omg.. i cant even stand watching videoclips anymore.. a classy, smart and independent woman who can take good care of herself, who doesnt do low stuff just to make men happy..
thats a strong women in my opinion.

back to topic..

about age.. i don't think you should have sex when ur 13... sorry..
but 13 = a kid. Wait till u grow up and learn some more about the world..
being a kid means playing outside and having a nice childhood..
nowadays young(er) kids are having sex and are killing each other..:S it shouldn't be this way! when you're young you're easier to get manipulated..

In my stupid country theres some "group" in the politics (their pedophiles),
they want to make it illegal for 12 years old kids to having sex with adults..
Seriously... these ppl should be punished, killed or something...
Politics nowadays... pff all crap.

[lilgagi88]

@ mallorymalony
I would never want my guy to ever cheat on me either, I would do the same, punch, kill, who knows.. that would hurt so much (emotionally). But then again, my boyfriend is what cool would call.. a girly guy, lol. Well, in my situation, he isn't a virgin, and when I first found it, I was pretty hurt but then now that I think about it, most guys probably aren't.. (which is sad to me). Btw, I am a virgin (I think..O_O), but then he does touch me.. sounds weird but yeahh.. For me, I just think if girls should be saving that special first time for someone (since some or most guys would like their girlfriend to be a virgin) then that guy should save it too. Oh on my boyfriend being a girly guy, he doesn't look at other women O_O.. it's so weird... or I can't tell... if he's lying or anything since he always acts this one way...
Me: Omg, James! Did you just see that girl walk by? She's soooo pretty! Isn't she pretty?
Him: Huh? What girl?

Lame? LOL but that is how he acts... everytime I do that or even everytime I see someone online and I tell him she's cute and he would just shrug away or go "ah sure..." O_o.. and then as for me, I then start feeling like I'm "cheating" since I would go and say to my friend (or in my mind) "Oh my god, that guy is soo cute." or.. something. O_O..

Either he's a girly guy or he's just really dedicated in keeping this relationship with me.. or however you would say it?

As for perfect age... I'm not sure there is a perfect age, just whenever you're ready.. the perfect age would be when you can have a job, so 18 if I have to put down an age, lol.

[katzluva]

Originally Posted by cool

Women thinks all guys are 'idiots with a prick', and men just wanna do it! Period!

Hey I was just wondering, what if the guy DOES get all the sex he wants from the his wife/girlfriend? Like, say, she will cater to his needs almost all the time...will he still cheat? Or is it for "variety" purposes?

[laura-aap]

Originally Posted by Heartburnz

back to topic..

about age.. i don't think you should have sex when ur 13... sorry..
but 13 = a kid. Wait till u grow up and learn some more about the world..
being a kid means playing outside and having a nice childhood..
nowadays young(er) kids are having sex and are killing each other..:S it shouldn't be this way! when you're young you're easier to get manipulated..

In my stupid country theres some "group" in the politics (their pedophiles),
they want to make it illegal for 12 years old kids to having sex with adults..
Seriously... these ppl should be punished, killed or something...
Politics nowadays... pff all crap.

yet.. we can not forget that 13 year olds are starting to look more and more like girls of 16/17. that's also a reason why they are getting younger when itcomes to having sex and loosing their virginity.
young girls easily start to think that it's so normal to have sex since it's so much more on the tv and all.

@ cool: yeah, boys do want more and faster sex than girls. but today I saw a show called virgin diaries... and there was this one girl.. who just wanted to have sex.. no mather what. so girls can be like that too!
but it's true that guys easily can have sex without feeling much for a girl.. yet a girl wants to feel more than just being a quick.... ehhm... sexthing.
( I wanted to say something else.. but don't think thats nice.. yet it does belong in this topic XD LOL)

and.. I don't know what I'll do when my 'boyfriend' would cheat on me. yeah.. kicking and all sounds really tempting. (some girls see a kiss on a cheek like cheating! OMG!)

*edit* just thinking about something.. if guys are always wanna have sex.. how would they be if they were sex addicts??? O___O

[mayness]

uhh i think the bottom line her is that;
WHEN AND WHO YOU LOOSE YOOUR VIRGINITY TO IS 100% UP TP YOU!!
Do not let anyone pressure you into it
and do not do it just because you think it will make your guy happy.

my ex-byfriend was very pushy about having sex with me, he really wanted to do it. he even planned it all out like we were gonna go robb a bank!! i denied him but in a funny, casual way. but he was always so persistent. i mean he was damn good-looking but i was only 13/14. he was older. i simply was not ready,, even though he had a six-pac. XD

[cool]

Originally Posted by katzluva

Hey I was just wondering, what if the guy DOES get all the sex he wants from the his wife/girlfriend? Like, say, she will cater to his needs almost all the time...will he still cheat? Or is it for "variety" purposes?

Well, I think it's the 'variety'... but whatever it is, it's in the genes. Like I said, we are all descended from the choices our ancestors made millions of years ago. Remember, our ancestors who are having sex with multiple partners are the most successful in passing on their genes. The ones that does not, may have passed on only a small percentage of themselves down the line, thus, you hear stories of some men who are truly monogamous, wherease the rest are either 'pretending to be', 'do not have the means to', or, 'find it not worth their while'.

So, I guess reading into the thin line of your question, women are basically stuck in a hard situation. Even Halle Berry's husband cheats on her and she's phenomenally beautiful. You would think that a guy married to her would be 'happy' and 'contended'. It's the gene thing again.

Like I said earlier, knowing how things are, can we adjust? Women do all the time. That's why you see people stayed in their marriage. If every time a guy cheats on his wife, and the wife divorced him, there'll be like 90% divorce rate. In western countries where women are less tolerant to a cheating husband, you see a higher divorce rate, and in others, women makes the decision to stay. In my country, like i said, many women are taught by their parents that men cheat, like the tide comes and goes, and you either accept it or not.

I understand that from a woman's perspective where a woman feel that sex is love and vice versa (equating the both in a complex entanglement), and when a woman have sex, she feels extremely in love, or extremely emotional, and therein lies the real problem. Because we can only judge others based on how we ourselves feels. We see thru our own prism or colored glass. So, when a woman finds her husband/boyfriend having sex with another girl, she automatically thinks he does not love her anymore, and that is what hurts most. But in actuality, the reverse is true. The guy still loves his wife as much, he is just having 'sex'. Sex, and sex alone. NOthing more. And from a men's perspective, he doesn't understand why the woman makes so much hell out of such a simple thing.

Men get extremely jealous when their women cheat as well but for a whole different reason. They are logical beings and they know that women generally only have sex with a guy when she's in love and when his wife sleeps with another man, then he thinks that she's in love with that other guy, and in truth, that's probably true as well. Usually a woman cheats when she's not getting the emotional support she needs at home. So in fact, when a woman cheats, she truly cheat wholely. But when a man cheat, it's only a physical thing. Nothing more.

Now, I also truly believe that if a man and woman have a connection beyond the physical, ie, maybe similar interests, and mental connection, and if the woman is still actively having good sex in a marriage with the husband, maintaining a physical attraction, then the guy would be far less likely to cheat because he knows he's got too much to lose and when you take into consideration age (guys' testosterone level drops with age on a continual basis). Remember also, when a guy's 'physical needs, sex' is satiated, he feels nothing about it anymore.. at least for another day..

Again, not trying to justify anything so please dont' shoot the messenger.

Originally Posted by laura-aap

yet.. we can not forget that 13 year olds are starting to look more and more like girls of 16/17. that's also a reason why they are getting younger when itcomes to having sex and loosing their virginity.

Actually, girls and boys are in general having sex at an older and older age compare to the past. It's because we are brought up in today's society where when we see a few 13 year old having sex, we generalize things and say that ppl are getting younger and younger.

If you just go back 100 years (or go to many 3rd world countries today), ppl have sex and become moms at 13 or less... it's the norm then...

ol: [/b] yeah, boys do want more and faster sex than girls. but today I saw a show called virgin diaries... and there was this one girl.. who just wanted to have sex.. no mather what. so girls can be like that too!
but it's true that guys easily can have sex without feeling much for a girl.. yet a girl wants to feel more than just being a quick.... ehhm... sexthing.
( I wanted to say something else.. but don't think thats nice.. yet it does belong in this topic XD LOL)

No doubt. I have already said i generalize for the majority. You'll always find the exceptions. Both men/women and their genders span a whole range from what we perceive as normal to the absolute abnormal. We have gays, bisexuals, men who can't think of anything but sex, and men who don't like sex, and transgender, to anything you can think of.

just thinking about something.. if guys are always wanna have sex.. how would they be if they were sex addicts??? O___O

You are missing my point. There are no such things as 'sex addicts'. It's like there's no such things as perverts when we refer to gay for instance. We are who we are, and in today's society, we paint all men as 'sex addicts, perverts, idiots who thinks only with their prick, pedophile, etc, etc'. The drug companies were successful in painting all hyper active kids as a decease and that they need to be tranquilized.. so, American moms are drugging their 'normally active kids',... over active kids means they are more intelligent, their mind are brighter and they want to explore more.. we are retarding them today.

But I guess you can make an argument that some people are so engrossed with thoughts of sex so much that they preclude many other things in their life, that you can say they are addicted to sex like we are all probably addicted to sugar. But the 'label' of sex addict can really be used on most men and a handful of women.

[the123girl]

I'm too busy having fun with my best friend, watching anime, shopping for clothes, getting decent grades in school, and chasing after my dreams to worry about this subject. o_o

[laura-aap]

Originally Posted by cool

I understand that from a woman's perspective where a woman feel that sex is love and vice versa (equating the both in a complex entanglement), and when a woman have sex, she feels extremely in love, or extremely emotional, and therein lies the real problem. Because we can only judge others based on how we ourselves feels. We see thru our own prism or colored glass. So, when a woman finds her husband/boyfriend having sex with another girl, she automatically thinks he does not love her anymore, and that is what hurts most. But in actuality, the reverse is true. The guy still loves his wife as much, he is just having 'sex'. Sex, and sex alone. NOthing more. And from a men's perspective, he doesn't understand why the woman makes so much hell out of such a simple thing.

Men get extremely jealous when their women cheat as well but for a whole different reason. They are logical beings and they know that women generally only have sex with a guy when she's in love and when his wife sleeps with another man, then he thinks that she's in love with that other guy, and in truth, that's probably true as well. Usually a woman cheats when she's not getting the emotional support she needs at home. So in fact, when a woman cheats, she truly cheat wholely. But when a man cheat, it's only a physical thing. Nothing more.
Again, not trying to justify anything so please dont' shoot the messenger.

yeah, that's true. most women cheat because things arn't going well at home. men do it for just the sex.. but most of the time, like you said, don't think more over it. they just had sex.

to me.. in both ways it's not 100% right.

and that a guy cheated on halle berry... is sooooooo uhh... nuts?

hahahah, don't worry! won't kill you. it's actually great to hear things too from a guy's perspective! to get to know more and all. and it's also different than to talk about this subject with only girls. since we mostly agree with each other. XD

Originally Posted by cool

Actually, girls and boys are in general having sex at an older and older age compare to the past. It's because we are brought up in today's society where when we see a few 13 year old having sex, we generalize things and say that ppl are getting younger and younger.
If you just go back 100 years (or go to many 3rd world countries today), ppl have sex and become moms at 13 or less... it's the norm then...

true, the norm of having sex got higher and higher trough the years. in 3rd worlds havind sex on very young ages is normal. for omst of us.. we find it digusting and all.... like a 9 year old havind sex and got pregnant. it was world wide news. yet there.. it's so normal and they don't understand where the fuzz is all about.

Originally Posted by cool

You are missing my point. There are no such things as 'sex addicts'. It's like there's no such things as perverts when we refer to gay for instance. We are who we are, and in today's society, we paint all men as 'sex addicts, perverts, idiots who thinks only with their prick, pedophile, etc, etc'. The drug companies were successful in painting all hyper active kids as a decease and that they need to be tranquilized.. so, American moms are drugging their 'normally active kids',... over active kids means they are more intelligent, their mind are brighter and they want to explore more.. we are retarding them today.

But I guess you can make an argument that some people are so engrossed with thoughts of sex so much that they preclude many other things in their life, that you can say they are addicted to sex like we are all probably addicted to sugar. But the 'label' of sex addict can really be used on most men and a handful of women.

it's also true that we put a lable on everything to give them drugs.. but you do have people that got so addicted to sex.. that they can harldy think or do normal. I once saw a documantry about it. they were following a man and WOMAN to see how they handle things in their lifes. but the question that they asked their too.. when will you give that lable to somebody?

a normal teenage boy will have so many hormones running trough his body that he can harldy think about other things. it's totally 100% normal.
do you call them a sex addict? or a guy of his mid 40th... who can't stop thinking and having sex? maybe we all put the lable on people waaaay to fast.

it's also a easy way for them and for us to make a excuse for some behavoirs.
like with ADHD. just call a kid that's hyper active an ADHD kid and drug it!
it's just getting way to easy... to not look further why somebody is like that or why that kid is hyper active ( I got mega hyper because of red food colours not adhd). people just get lazy. but that's a diff. topic ^__^

but I totally got your point. don't worry. I might not agree with everything but the most you are saying is true!

[katzluva]

*nods* I see. Kind of disturbing =\

It'd be nice if men could exhibit more selfcontrol...talk about double standards.

[cool]

Originally Posted by katzluva

*nods* I see. Kind of disturbing =\

It'd be nice if men could exhibit more selfcontrol...talk about double standards.

Ya... very true... we'll always have double standards when we deal with gender issues (since both genders sees things from a set of different brains, ie, different operating systems, so to speak. Neither can truly understand the other. And if you bring in race, other genders, like gay, bi, trans, religions, each seeing thru more prisms, then you'll have multiple standards.

I try not to judge anymore nowaways.... when I don't quite understand something, I tend to just research it more, read more books, keep an open mind, and then try to put myself in the other party's shoes, and relate it all back to facts, or what is prevalently factual.

[laura-aap]

true, anybody will have his own feelings and idea's about it.
the only way to learn more is to talk to the opposide gender and research.
but even than. things will be unclear... for both genders.

[yugidogz]

I'm really grateful someone made a thread about this.... I feel a lot more comfortable talking about this, you know? I didn't realize how many of you had lost your virginity, so I was too afraid to ever talk about it. ^^;

I lost mine when I was 16 to my boyfriend when he was 17. I'm now 18, he 19, and still together. (Actually our 2 year is in 6 days, whoot!) We did it the first time when we were only about 2 months into our relationship. Jumped straight from making out into sex, no "fooling around"... or is that another play on for sex? ><; Well, I think you know what I mean. :P
Here's my story from what I can remember:

....Basically we're making out on the floor in his room as usual (he didn't have a bed at the time...Korean.. lol) and he proceeded to take off my belt and went for the pants, and I told him "Oh, I don't think I'm ready for that", which of course being a guy, puzzled him at first, but he understood. I think we waited a few days to a week later.

And um... I won't go into detail, but it wasn't the best experience on my part to be honest when we finally went for it........... XDD

But we both learned a lot. And still learning.
I think you'll just know when you're ready. I do think that age under 16 is definitely a no-no, but once you realize you're using your brain the "right way" in this situation, then I think you'll know if your ready or not.

And it sucks... I definitely can't talk to my friends about it. I tried to help a friend about a year ago when she was having this type of problem with her boyfriend, and she just ended up telling people about me and my boyfriend. So I usually just say "no" to the question unless I truly trust the person enough to know they won't think less of me or start spreading rumors.

[Hnnh]

In my opinion, the perfect age to lose your virginity is when you know that you and your partner can handle the responsibilities that comes along with having intercourse. If you're having/ you've had second thoughts about it, you're obviously not ready/ wasn't ready to lose it. You really couldn't put a number on it.

[SafetyPin]

Personally, I want to wait till I'm at least 16... I'm 14 now and never had a boyfriend let alone a first kiss, so I actually might be waiting till 18-20 or marriage. I don't really have a reason why I want to wait till a specific age, I just do.... A friend of mine was going to lose her virginity last year to her off and on boyfriend of about 3 years (she's 14 as well)... the only thing was that they wanted to do it in a clothing store change room... I think that was just too weird... they didn't though and it was a good thing because they broke a few months after when she found out he was cheating... Another friend was actually raped by her cousins numerous times (which is just wrong) which is a horrible way to lose your virginity. Yet another friend is pregnant right now because of just one mistake. She's keeping the baby, and her boyfriend left her because of her choice.

I have one question that relates... There are people who don't think anal or oral counts as losing your virginity... Do you think that getting raped doesn't count as well?

[kellygolightly]

Originally Posted by SafetyPin

Do you think that getting raped doesn't count as well?

Unfortunately in my opinion that counts, because I had a pretty terrible experience at 13. After loosing it that way, it really freaked me out for a while. When I was 15 I met my boyfriend and he is amazing and took everything very slow, now I am almost 18 and very comfortable with sex and haven't regretted anything I've done. I even think that women have just as much of a sexual need as men, we are just alot more hesitant about it because of various consequences.

I think that loosing your virginity will be different for everyone, if you meet an amazing guy/girl and you both feel you are ready, then it shouldn't matter the age. Just as long as you can emotionally handle it, and potentially handle any consequences. I feel that setting some sort of age, doesn't really work, I think if you don't try to force anything, when the time comes that you feel ready you will know.

[Heartburnz]

Originally Posted by yugidogz

And it sucks... I definitely can't talk to my friends about it. I tried to help a friend about a year ago when she was having this type of problem with her boyfriend, and she just ended up telling people about me and my boyfriend. So I usually just say "no" to the question unless I truly trust the person enough to know they won't think less of me or start spreading rumors.

i can't talk about it with my (girl)friends either.. their so close minded..
I have a friend who is already 21 or something but she acts like shes my mom..
If she would knew I already did it she would kill me.. i dont understand why..
Its my life and Im already 20 so whats the big deal? but then again..she nvr had a bf before.. her bf has to be PERFECT.