Perfect age to lose your virginity...

[yugidogz]

Exactly! It seems the only people I can talk about it with are guys O_o I think.... since I was talking to my friend online sometime last year and he was talking about all of us going on a trip (me, my bf, him and his gf), but she's only 17. It was so weird cause I was like "what, her parents won't let her come with us?" and he just went on and on about "she's a minor! i can't have sex with her! it's against the law!" LOL. It was completely out of the blue..... he's 19 btw XD

Another friend that I told she asked me and I was like "that's kinda personal *XD*" and she said "Oh, I know. It's okay, I won't get mad or anything if you did" O_o

What's that supposed to mean?? ....Which is EXACTLY why I can't talk about this stuff with my female friends. They're too uptight about this subject. :/

[Heartburnz]

Originally Posted by yugidogz

Another friend that I told she asked me and I was like "that's kinda personal *XD*" and she said "Oh, I know. It's okay, I won't get mad or anything if you did" O_o /

weird that she said that.. so if she STILL would get mad.. would you have a problem then? and i think your'e right, talking about it with guys is easier.. since the subject seems "normal" to them..

[MiyaBi_Na]

I think the perfect age to lose your viginity is WHENEVER YOU are ready.

There is no perfect age!!!!

It's just when you feel that you and your significant other are ready for that step!

I know this may be some TMI...but I wasn't ready to "give it up" to anyone until I was 19!!!!

I just didn't find THAT GUY that deserved that from me....I didn't wanna be played...so I waited until I found the guy that I knew wouldn't hurt me and that really loved me.

That "lucky" (lol!) guy is my bf....and now I'm 22 almost 23 now and he is still my perfect guy and I'm glad that I waited for him instead of giving it up to the first guy who wanted it. He earned my trust and feelings and made me feel like the most wonderful person in the world and he understood that I wanted to wait until I was ready...he respected it and didn't push the issue. Then when I fully trusted him and knew he was being real...that he really loved me....it happened.

so the point of all it was...don't rush just cuz you THINK you have to be a certain age for it to happen....your heart and brain and body should FEEL like it's time....

if you do it when you're not ready...it's not going to be anything special...

[SilentMorning]

Well, I'm 14 now. But I think I would save it for after the marriage. Really, a relationship isn't about sex, but love.
It's true that more and more girls lost their virginity at a young age like 13 or something. But some become more mature then others. I'm kind of mature to but in an other way. I definately save it for after the marriage. But all people should know when they are ready for it.

[yugidogz]

Originally Posted by Heartburnz

weird that she said that.. so if she STILL would get mad.. would you have a problem then? and i think your'e right, talking about it with guys is easier.. since the subject seems "normal" to them..

I dunno, I think I'd be more weirded out because she's a really understanding person. Actually, I think it would bother me. I don't think it would be right for her to get upset for me running my life in the direction I choose.


Oh, definitely! Like one of my guy friends kept going on and on about how he wants to have sex with his girlfriend *also my friend* and it was really out of the blue. He did the same thing when talking to my boyfriend online! But we can't help but laugh at how the conversation goes from taking a nice trip to him going on about how "she's underage and I can't do it with her because it's illegal!" ...when neither of us were even talking about that in the first place.

[Sweet_Lolita]

Originally Posted by yugidogz

I dunno, I think I'd be more weirded out because she's a really understanding person. Actually, I think it would bother me. I don't think it would be right for her to get upset for me running my life in the direction I choose.


Oh, definitely! Like one of my guy friends kept going on and on about how he wants to have sex with his girlfriend *also my friend* and it was really out of the blue. He did the same thing when talking to my boyfriend online! But we can't help but laugh at how the conversation goes from taking a nice trip to him going on about how "she's underage and I can't do it with her because it's illegal!" ...when neither of us were even talking about that in the first place.

If he's so desperate to do "it", why did he get an underage girlfriend?

[whatever!]

i lost mine 3 months ago......










.....now im pregnant!
btw, im 22 yrs old now, and finished off college.
ready enough to settle down.

[cool]

Originally Posted by whatever!

i lost mine 3 months ago......










.....now im pregnant!
btw, im 22 yrs old now, and finished off college.
ready enough to settle down.

Congrats! I am sure it'll be a cutie!!

[whatever!]

Originally Posted by cool

Congrats! I am sure it'll be a cutie!!

oh nice to hear that! ive been really so excited since the day i found out i was preggy! just as long as he's/she's healthy it really doesnt matter if she's gonna be pretty or ugly or flat-nosed or handsome or chubby or whatever. lol.

[Chiharu]

I don't think age really has anything to do with the "right time" to lose your virginity. It doesn't matter how old I am, I probably won't sleep with anyone unless I'm in realtionship, and seeing that I'm not, the point is mute.

There's no use in hypothesizing the right age. It's like testing out "the effect of the age of virginity lost on the sucess rate of marriages /happiness /success in life" XD I'll lose my virginity when I find the right person to love, and until then I'm in no rush.

Oh, and whatever!, congrats on your pregnacy

[chemi]

haha wow i feel weird after reading this thread because i think like a total BOY.
When i get married [or rather make a commitment to be with someone for a long time because marriage is a sham ] and Im like 40 years old and everythings going south Im not going to CARE or be offended if my partner wants to go and have sex with loads of 20 year olds,
if they can actually get into bed with one who am i to stop the guy i love from havin fun and a massive ego boost from sleeping with women who are gonna be alot more attractive than my saggy self?
it just doesnt make sense to me this whole jealousy thing...fair enough if they fall in love with someone else..then i'd be devestated but sex?
personally I wouldnt want to have sex wth loads of different people, but i am a girl. The difference is i can accept that men are men and are always going to want to sleep with everything.
why be that awful nagging wife who gets cheated on because she's unrealistic and isnt somebody their husband can talk to? I'd rather know evrything about my guy, the bad and the good, the feelings he has for people other than me etc etc,
i guess cuz i'd expect the same deal from him. I'm under no illusion that monogamy doesnt work. maybe for some people but not for me. long term monogamy jus doesnt seem sensible to me unless you allow each other space to flirt etc. obviously it would need a long set of rules and alot of trust but i would never be with somebody for a long time unless there was that trust.

anyway ON TOPIC: viriginity. the right age...hmm. well i lost mine at 15 in awful circumstances and i regret it but eh. theres nothing i can do about that...and you learn from your bad choices.
I agree with others, its not the age but your state of mind and the person you do it with.

[Tsuyako]

I personally think the 'right time' is when someone feels comfortable enough, is mentally mature enough and if it's with someone they know and trust.
I'm not really confident enough about my own body yet so I'll probably be waiting until I'm over 16 =/ and congratulations whatever! on the baby =]

[puzzlegirl]

I don't think there is a perfect age to lose your virginity- there are people of all ages who are not mature enough to be having sex! But that can't be helped.
I just don't think it's ever a good idea to wait until AFTER marriage. Not if you want sex to be a positive and fulfilling experience. Or maybe that's just because sex is VERY important to me.
Sex is something that shouldn't be feared but respected. It's a shame when society trains us to think of it as taboo.
If you don't know what it's like to be with someone sexually it will be a lot more nerve-wracking and put a lot more pressure on the whole scenario, forever affecting your enjoyment of sex (cause you're bound together by law!)
I think sex is best enjoyed when you are in love, and I could never marry someone whom I wasn't compatible with sexually.

btw- I think the keys to making a great sexual relationship are:
- reliable birth control (i myself use the pill AND condoms without fail, am thinking about the mirena implant)
- regular health checkups (for both you and your partner- NEVER DO WITHOUT!)
- be monogamous as possible (you can still be in a promiscuous monogamous relationship! lol)

[CaterpillarGirl]

I don't think there is a "perfect" age. When you're ready, you're ready, whether you're 13 or 30.

That said, I don't think kids should be having sex when they're 13 or 14. How many people that age can really handle the responsibilities of having a child? My sister's friend got pregnant when she was 13. She dropped out of high school and has to rely on her parents for help. Her boyfriend was 18 at the time, he's lucky he didn't get done for statutory rape.

[diadori]

i myself am 14.

i don't think that 13 and 14 year olds are mentally mature enough to make that kind of decision. i think that alot of kids of have sex at this age do it to make themselves feel more mature. and also all the images of sex being pushed on us today don't really help that.

also, wouldn't it suck to be 13 and already have an STD?

[cool]

Originally Posted by chemi

When i get married [or rather make a commitment to be with someone for a long time because marriage is a sham ] and Im like 40 years old and everythings going south Im not going to CARE or be offended if my partner wants to go and have sex with loads of 20 year olds,
if they can actually get into bed with one who am i to stop the guy i love from havin fun and a massive ego boost from sleeping with women who are gonna be alot more attractive than my saggy self?
it just doesnt make sense to me this whole jealousy thing...fair enough if they fall in love with someone else..then i'd be devestated but sex?

Exactly my point. You can't beat nature... no matter how much 'false morals' you try to impose on society, if nature intend us to be something else, it'll find a way to get out..

That being said, as both men and women grow older and wiser to the ways of nature, we become more tolerant.... If you see who responded to this thread you'll realize that younger girls are more idealistic.. like 'I'll kill him and leave him instantly if he sleeps with another woman', but in actual fact, when women grow older they actually learn to keep an eye closed.. else the whole world would be divorced...

Also, on another point, why is 'sex' all important? I personally think it's shallow to equate sex with love. If you love someone and if all they did is have sex with someone else, then the whole love goes away? That's quite shallow.. But I can also understand from a woman's perspective that they feel deeply in love while having sex.. it's all those hormones working the brain..... men don't at all.... fundamental flaw in the design of men/women which is main cause of conflict in a monogamous marriage (which is man made)....

Are there monogamous mammals? Sure, about 5%.. Humans are both.. but a majority are not...

obviously it would need a long set of rules and alot of trust but i would never be with somebody for a long time unless there was that trust.

Agreed. I personally equate love with trust.. the more you trust someone the more love you have for him/her... and with time as well.. the more time you spend with each other and know each other, the more in love you would be. A small thing like 'sex' would not get in the way...

In Asia, the conventional wisdom is that:

Women: 'Keeps an eye closed when their husbands cheat on sex'
Men: 'Never bring home the dirt.. ie, don't have affairs that you bring home, have it outside. And never let your wife know (but women knows anyways cause men are kinda stupid at hiding things)'

[puzzlegirl]

Enough with this "can't beat nature" stuff.
Even though humans are animals and are not genetically designed to be monogamous does not mean that sleeping around is going to be acceptable for everybody.
It is inherent in humans to rape as well. But does that mean we should?

Are we satisfied with being animals or being what we WANT to be- which is HUMAN- by simply being emotional and empathetic? That is why we have religion, art and everything else that goes with higher thinking.

I personally equate love with trust.. the more you trust someone the more love you have for him/her... and with time as well.. the more time you spend with each other and know each other, the more in love you would be. A small thing like 'sex' would not get in the way...

Where the heck does the "trust = love" part come in if couples have a "don't ask, don't tell" dynamic going on?
If my longterm partner was going to sleep around I would want to know about it and it should be a MUTUAL agreement- where both of us would agree to have the same liberties. Sexual compatibility (or compromise) at the very least is of huge importance in a relationship. Sex is certainly not a "small thing".

And I really resent generalizations like "men don't equate sex with love" and "men are more likely to sleep around." Though it may be normative, it is certainly not the truth.

[cool]

Originally Posted by puzzlegirl

Enough with this "can't beat nature" stuff.
Even though humans are animals and are not genetically designed to be monogamous does not mean that sleeping around is going to be acceptable for everybody.
It is inherent in humans to rape as well. But does that mean we should?

I totally disagree that it's inherent in human nature to rape. Next you may say that it's inherent in human nature to 'kill'?

It's been quite accepted in the scientific community that over the millions of years we, as a human-animal have learned to live in a community and those that does what they want are usually cast out and not survive. Survival rate in such communities are much higher, therefore people who comply with such 'natural moral values' are more succesful.

We don't need religion to tell us that murder is not a good thing. It's built into our genes. If we murder at will, others will do the same and those that did that in the past usually don't survive.

This is usually a fundamental flawed religious argument. Without religion we don't have morals? I hear that all the time... but then the same religion tells us that other religions are evil and everyone's going to rot in hell for all eternity if they don't believe in one particular fictitious diety...

Are we satisfied with being animals or being what we WANT to be- which is HUMAN- by simply being emotional and empathetic? That is why we have religion, art and everything else that goes with higher thinking.

Higher thinking = Science.
Lower thinking and ingorance = Religion.

I am merely stating what's fact. If you want to dispute that, it's all fine with me... let the debate begin...

If my longterm partner was going to sleep around I would want to know about it and it should be a MUTUAL agreement- where both of us would agree to have the same liberties. Sexual compatibility (or compromise) at the very least is of huge importance in a relationship. Sex is certainly not a "small thing".

I agree totally. If we are all brought up with the 'truth'. However our current society teaches us to lie all the time and not believe in truths.. such things like 'sex is sacred', etc.. that makes us not speak of it.. and it makes men feel guilty... and if you are going to kill your husband for cheating on you, do you think that your husband will tell you if he does? Believe it or not, we currently live in a world where we tend to pretend about all kinds of things and there are so many things that are so totally politically incorrect that we can't even speak the truth anymore without anyone persecuting you.. For example, speaking out against the evils of organized religions... and speaking out for the very physical differences between the genders.. and about races, etc. etc.. you can easily be branded bigoted, racist, sexist, etc, etc... we like the untruth...

And I really resent generalizations like "men don't equate sex with love" and "men are more likely to sleep around." Though it may be normative, it is certainly not the truth.

If you read my earlier threads i qualify by first saying that not all fits, but in general, most men... etc... so, are there monogamous men? Sure, about 5%.. this is a scientific fact.. Humans are generally non-monogamous... There are a range of men, as are women, some men are monogamous, some are gays, most are not...etc...

BTW: you can totally disregard everything i say though.. and go about believing as you wish.... we can just agree to disagree.. take care..

[mallorymaloney]

I still completely disagree with this whole 'letting your husbands cheat' thing. o_O It seems very, very disturbing, and I can't believe lots of people agree with it ...!

I'm not going to to get into science and statistics and examples again --- Bottom line is, I just don't agree with it, and I'm going to try and stop it whenever I can --- Whether or not it's any of my business.

Whichever girl said that she'd let her husband cheat --- Well, personally, I just think you sound ... Like a pushover. =/ And I don't see any of your future relationships being very serious if you go into them with that kinda attitude. x_x

Just felt the need to throw that in --- Reading these new posts, I'm becoming very angred over the whole idea.

I thought this was supposed to be a 'losing your virginity' thread, anyways.

>_>;;;

[cool]

Originally Posted by mallorymaloney

I still completely disagree with this whole 'letting your husbands cheat' thing. o_O It seems very, very disturbing, and I can't believe lots of people agree with it ...!

I'm not going to to get into science and statistics and examples again --- Bottom line is, I just don't agree with it, and I'm going to try and stop it whenever I can --- Whether or not it's any of my business.

Whichever girl said that she'd let her husband cheat --- Well, personally, I just think you sound kinda like a pushover. =/

Just felt the need to throw that in --- Reading these new posts, I'm becoming very angred over the whole idea.

I thought this was supposed to be a 'losing your virginity' thread, anyways.

>_>;;;

Hahaha... Mallory... I get your anger... I think if there were a lot more guys here, the debate will be far, far more heated...

Anyways... Personally, I love the idea of story book 'true love' and 'sexual faithfullness'...... I wish we were designed differently.. perhaps one day science can turn off those pesky 'hormones' in men.. or 'turn them on in women' so both can cheat on each other.. hahaha... or both don't think it's cheating.. we're getting there though.. they already found the gene responsible for monogamy....