I feel stupid..

pinkiipromise · #1 (**permalink**) 07-30-2008, 11:08 AM

I feel stupid..

My guy have been really wierd lately.. really cold to me.. Hes just not the sweet sweet guy i know from before.. He use to be so caring, so sweet, & he will do anything to make me smile. Even when we have fights & when i cry.. he will drop down his anger immediately & just hugs me.. He would tell me hes sorry and promise me everything would be OK.

Nowadays we have fights on the phone like nearly everyday.. & when i cry over the phone, he keeps going.. "Why are you cryin?... Why are you still with me?" Then i hang up on hims.. He thens calls me back.. not to make me feel better but to tell me how much he hates me..

I use to get like.. 40calls a day.. now its just like.. 2? Is he tired of talkin to me? He use to call me everyday in the mornin askin me if he can come & see me.. nowadays he doesnt ask anymore.. Its usually me that asks..

When im alone i think.. why is he like this? & then i would think back to the things he scream at me.. He once said "I am like this because of you. You make me like this.."

Did I really make him like this? What did I do to hurt him so bad..? He told me i always say hurtful things.. but then these days i dont anymore. When he screams at me over the phone, I just shut up.. until i cant take it anymore.. tears just leak out of my eyes..

I hate to be weak.. I hate to cry.. I hate to think..

Where is my hunnibun gone? Why would my hunnibun do anything to hurt me? Didnt he promise not to break my heart?

I dont know what i should do.. Its 2years & 5months of memories.. I just cant let it go..

redpixie · #2 (**permalink**) 07-30-2008, 11:40 AM

Ouch that sounds like a horrible position to be in. And it sounds like he's putting the blame on you when he starts to feel guilty.

Have you sat him down and talked to him about it? Maybe theres some underlying problem that he's trying to get over, or maybe theres just something bugging him about you guys and your relationship. I think you need to have a long serious talk with him. Don't immediatly start jumping down his throat or accusing him. Start of gentle, and just try and find out what hes thinking/feeling.

Don't raise your voice, and stay calm. Hopefully then he will too. good luck x

haruhisuzumiya · #3 (**permalink**) 07-30-2008, 01:15 PM

It might be an outside problem as well. If there is anything that is bugging him in real life, you may be the only one he feels comfortable taking it out on. I know that's what my boyfriend does and we have been together for 3 1/2 years.

pinkiipromise · #4 (**permalink**) 07-30-2008, 01:52 PM

I had tried talkin to him about it.. but its just that when i tell him something he just goes "you do it too".. although i dont.. hes very ignorant & stubborn..

And i dont raise my voice at all these days.. I just stay quiet.. his always the one thats yellin..

chiriyuku · #5 (**permalink**) 07-30-2008, 02:01 PM

how you talk to him is also important. My boy (of 6 years) doesn't respond well when I start off with lines like "i'm not happy with the way things are", "i feel sad..." or point out his flaws (yelling, anger). So just make sure you start off by letting him know that you care about him and want to know if anything is bugging him. =]

13th_hr · #6 (**permalink**) 07-31-2008, 07:36 AM

its the time of your relationship where its getting a lot more serious and he may be scared of the commitment. also not everyone stays that perfect little hunnibun forever. you have to be a friend and a gf, vice versa as well for a relationship to last.
you can't always expect that sweet, romatic guy to be always there.
no one is that perfect.
sometimes you might just need a break from eachother, seeing as you guys have always been attached.
It will re-kindle the feelings you guys had for eachother and make him realize how important you are in his life.
every relationship has its ups and downs. if you guys get through this, the bond will become stronger.

thats what happened to my bf and I.
We took a break and it made us realize how important we are to eachother.
We are best friends and as well as lovers.

pinkiipromise · #7 (**permalink**) 07-31-2008, 08:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 13th_hr

its the time of your relationship where its getting a lot more serious and he may be scared of the commitment. also not everyone stays that perfect little hunnibun forever. you have to be a friend and a gf, vice versa as well for a relationship to last.
you can't always expect that sweet, romatic guy to be always there.
no one is that perfect.
sometimes you might just need a break from eachother, seeing as you guys have always been attached.
It will re-kindle the feelings you guys had for eachother and make him realize how important you are in his life.
every relationship has its ups and downs. if you guys get through this, the bond will become stronger.

thats what happened to my bf and I.
We took a break and it made us realize how important we are to eachother.
We are best friends and as well as lovers.

I had suggested a break before.. but then he kept sayin we don't need one..

There was a time that we didn't talk for a week n a half.. It made me miss him more but thens it didnt seem like it changed anything..

This whole things started when my house phone got disconnected & we werent able to make calls to each other as often.. & when he was sick for months & we werent able to see each other as often.. Do you think he just got used to livin without me?

pinkiipromise · #8 (**permalink**) 07-31-2008, 08:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by haruhisuzumiya

It might be an outside problem as well. If there is anything that is bugging him in real life, you may be the only one he feels comfortable taking it out on. I know that's what my boyfriend does and we have been together for 3 1/2 years.

i don't think so.. these days when we do actually talk on the phone he sounds pretty cheerful.. he doesnt sound depressed at all.. but thens he does gets pissed off a lot more easier

kiorla · #9 (**permalink**) 08-05-2008, 03:50 AM

Aww... I kind of know how you feel. My boyfriend's changed too, but I think it's just time. You know, you've been with him for quite some time now. Everyone expects for everyone to stay the same, but they don't. Maybe that's his true self. You may wish that it isn't, but it might be. It's going to be a hard deciding what you're going to do, but do what's best for you. Good luck.

MissTamora · #10 (**permalink**) 08-05-2008, 12:39 PM

Aw hun I can't give you any better advice than what's been said but I hope things work out for you

pinkiipromise · #11 (**permalink**) 08-06-2008, 04:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MissTamora

Aw hun I can't give you any better advice than what's been said but I hope things work out for you

its kewl =) i guess what kiorla said is true.. people just with change time.. I guess the only thing i can do is accept.. & to just choose weather to stay or to go.. no point sittin here wishin for things thats not going to happen..

Anyhow thanks for your help guys

really appreciate its